...remain positive, because hope is all that you have Left

Remain positive, even in bad situations, because the hope that things will get better may be all that you have to hold you over. Things will get tough from time to time and things may not always go according to plan. When the ship seemingly starts sinking, its up to you to grab a bucket and start pailing water back overboard. You can't let your ship sink, or in other words, you can't stop bailing water because you have no life preservers.

In life, you have to bail water out of that ship like you have no life preservers. You have to act like there is no back up plan, even if there is one. You are the only person that you can depend on and if you give up on yourself, who is going to be there for you. No one is going to just come swoop down out of the sky and solve all of your problems. Even when things get better in your life there is always something that will come along and pose some sort of problem. Most of the time though, it isnt the problem or situation that makes you a better person, its how you deal with lifes love taps that makes you a stronger person...

...you have come a long Way

...you have come a long way. Its only been a few short months since you seemingly hit naked rock. God is truly a good God, and you have been tremendously blessed. As you sit at your desk in your new office listening to soothing music and reflecting back on the past summer, seems like a distant memory. Yet,it wasn't all that long ago that your troubles seemed insermountable. Before, you were wondering how you were going to pay your bills, and now your out looking for furniture and new clothes. Times have definately changed. Since things have changed for the better, reflect and thank God for the things He has done.

Don't forget where you were a few short weeks ago. Thank and appreciate those people that were with you when times were hard. Pray for those who let you down in your time of need, and most of all, don't be bitter towards them. Everything happens for a reason. The people that seemingly made an about face out of your life when things got tough didn't need to be in your life to begin with, and it took a life altering experience to weed out the bad people from the ones that meant well. Just because people say that they will be there for you doesn't mean that they really will be when you actually turn to them in a time of need.

Knowing the things that you do now and looking back on the past few months should make one thing crystal clear. Having a positive attitude toward life and situations will help you make it though very hard times. Giving up is never an option and if you hold out and remain vigilant, you can be victorious in the end. Remain positive, because sometimes hope is all that you have left...

...there's a silver lining around that dark Cloud

There is a silver lining around that dark cloud, even though things haven't been going quite like you would have hoped them to. You have to keep focus and always remain positive. Capitalize on every opportunity, no matter how small. You never know where it might lead you.

When you step into a new venture, never forget where you came from. When things seem as though they are hard and not looking your way, think about where you came from. Think about the time when you didn't have the job, house, or car to complain about. Things could always be worse, much worse. You have come a long way...

...things don't always happen the way you want them To

Things don't always happen the way you want them to. However, things do happen for a reason. Nothing happens arbitrarily. It's part of the master plan for your life. God ultimately has a plan, a straight path. Its always us that deviate from that planned route. He throws up all kinds of warning signs, like the voice on a GPS, but you just have to make that unnecessary detour. You want a hamburger, a car wash, or a new outfit from the mall. The voice on the GPS is hollering, and you ignore it.

The same thing happens in real life. God throws up all kinds of red flags, but you ignore them. You feel that this is something you want to do and it will just take a minute, or its not far from the planned route. You don't realize that you have traveled down the wrong path until you find yourself lost. Even though you have ventured out into the wrong place, God is much like the GPS and He has a way of escape planned. Even though you don't see it, all you have to do is follow His lead, much like you would the GPS if you were lost.

Eventually, no matter how far into the wilderness you have traveled, you will end up back on the main route. The time it takes to get there depends on how far you trusted in yourself or others and continued to travel in the wrong direction. It could be minutes, hours, days, or even years. In life, you might need a GPS, but regarding your life, make God your GPS. When you do that, you can actually look up and see the silver lining in the dark clouds...

...sometimes, you have to be your own Rock

Sometimes your have to be your own rock because there just isn't any other option. People fall to the wayside. You can't depend on others for your personal strength. Be your own rock. Find ways to uplift and motivate yourself. You can't allow yourself to get to the point of being depressed. It just isn't productive. In the times that you feel your lowest, weakest, or most vulnerable, get motivated. Surround yourself around positive things or people. Whatever you do, don't become idle. As the old saying goes, an idle mind is the devil's workshop.

Once you start really thinking and dwelling on your troubles, they can really depress you. The hard thing to do is to try not to think about how bad your situation might be. Instead, think on the positives. Good things do eventually happen. They just may not happen when you want them to. God hasn't forgotten about you. He is still there. Despite all the hell that you may be experiencing, He is there with you. You are not alone.

Bad things often are allowed to happen in your life to set you up for some thing better. If you never went through anything, how could you appreciate the times in your life when you where prosperous, successful, joyous, and all was well? Things may look bad now, but lots of times your right at the cusp of your blessing and don't realize it. You have to stay the path. Remember, even in staying the path, things don't always happen the way you want them to...

...so someone karate chopped you in your 11:59 moment

You say someone came along and karate chopped you in your 11:59PM moment? It happens. You were in a place where you really needed someone and you thought they were gonna actually come through, and they karate chopped you in the neck with disappointment and failure. OUCH! Now what? You only have a minute before your seemingly ultimate epic fail and descent into the unknown terrible abyss. People, this happens. Its not uncommon. People just don't come through sometimes.

Here's the lesson to learn from this. Stop depending on people so heavily. Look, if your in an 11:59PM situation and you can't fix it, at 12:00AM your not gonna die. The world is not going to end. It may feel that way, but trust me, you will be alright. Stop putting ALL of your trust in people and trust God. In addition to that, don't just look for divine intervention to swoop down and rescue you out of all your trials and tribulations. You have to go through some things and put in some work to reap rewards. It's not God's, or anyone elses fault if your needs aren't met when you need them to be. Its your own fault. Quite possibly, that thing you wanted or situation you needed handled wasn't meant to be, at least not at that time. Deal with it.

The sooner we stop placing the blame on others and accept the fact that no one is responsible for us but ourselves, the better we will be. Stop dragging past events into your present and move forward, get positive. So what someone didn't come through for you. Get over it. Its gonna happen again, just wait. If you think that people will never let you down, keep on living. Your poor little feelings will be crushed over and over again as people show you their true selves. When you stop depending on other people, you will realize that you can be your own inspiration. Sometimes, you have to be your own rock...

...everyone who tells you that they are there for you really Isn't

Everyone who tells you that they are there for you really isn't... Come on now people, you already knew that right? Surely you couldn't have possibly thought that every person that said they would be there for you in your time of need would actually follow through on that promise, now did you? If you did, you are very naive. For the most part, we already know that some people are just talking out the side of their throat when they mention those few, but meaningful words that they have no intentions of following through on. We have all been there and can point out the fakers from the real folks. The issue comes when its someone that you thought you could really count on, that leaves you hanging. That is more than a slap in the face. That's like a kick in the crotch with a size 14 steel toed boot. It hurts, your totally unprepared, and your blindsided. Its like you were robbed, but all they took was your self respect. It's an indescribable hurt, nah, it's mainly disappointment.

How do you get into these situations, you might ask? Hmm, that's kinda tricky cause it could happen to anyone. For the most part, as mentioned before, we can point out the fakers. It's the people that are around you all the time, the ones you hang out with, talk to on the phone, go to the store with, your close inner circle that seem to karate chop you to the side in your 11:59 moments...

...be careful of who you confide in. Everyone isn't always who they claim to Be

Be careful who you confide in. Everyone isn't who you think they are. Sad but true. This is true for just about everyone who comes into your life, friends family members, girlfriends/boyfriends, pastors etc. At some point in the time you have had an encounter with someone that you thought you could trust, and they let you down in some way. You told them something in confidence, or trusted them in some way. The next thing you know, the earth knows your business or they have just broken that trust bond. Maybe you confided in someone and they used what you told them against you in an argument or spewed your business at an inappropriate time or place. It doesn't feel nice to suddenly know that others know what you told someone in confidence.

You may ask yourself, how did I end up in this situation in the first place? To start, you talked too much. Secondly, you talked too much to the wrong person or group of people. I know some of you will say, "well I only confide in those closest to me". To that statement, I say, silly people, don't you realize that those that are closest to you are the ones that always hurt you the most? Let me dive into this a little. Some people are opportunists. They want you to tell them all your business so that they can use it against you at at later date, (IE: an angry girlfriend/boyfriend or coworker) Some people pretend to be things that they are not to try to get close to you and know all your business because they have ulterior motives. When they discover that you are not what they thought you were, or find out that you have nothing to offer them they move on, sometimes telling all of your personal business as they make their exit stage right.

Now there are the people that blindside you. Everyone isn't out to tell all of your deepest darkest secrets, but they can hurt you just the same. Have you ever put your trust in someone only to be let down real hard? For instance, your dating someone and find out that they cheated on you. You begin attending church and you start hanging with that good ole' sanctified soul, only to find out that they were 'less than sanctified' and had ulterior motives? We've all had a friend that said that they'd be there through thick and thin, but turns out they were only there when it was convenient for them. How about that person who was always around while you were on top of the world, but when things changed, they ran away from you like day from night. These are the types of situations that seem to be common. We allow people into the most personal places in our lives only to have our feelings violated. That's what it feels like.

How do we get into these situations you might ask? Well we put too much trust into people. We put people up on pedestals that they don't deserve to be on. Just because your a celebrity, pastor, teacher, singer, counselor, police officer etc; doesn't mean that you get automatic trust and mountains of respect. Everyone should be on an even playing field. God should be the only one you ever slap up on a pedestal. People are fallible. Often times we forget that. You have to remember that some people are out for personal gain. Sometimes that means destroying the next person to achieve that goal. You will find that everyone who tells you that they are there for you really isn't...

...in life, take the wheel.. you should always be in the Drivers Seat

It seems as though you are going through something that no one can relate to, something so horribly bad that it is unfixable. The truth is, that isn't true. In just about every situation, someone has been through it, or is going through it. What we fail to see is that there is always a bright side to every situation, no matter how bleak it may seem at the time. When it gets to the point when you feel that your life is a complete #fail and nothing or no one can help you, take a step back and examine your situation closely. Take stock in who you are confiding in. Look at the people you keep in your inner circle. Are they positive? Are they optimistic or are they putting their foot on your throat now that your down?

The other aspect to examine closely is just how much information are you sharing about yourself? Are you telling the earth the most intricate details about all your life's issues? Are you talking to the right people who will be supportive to you even if they can't help you out of your situation? Honestly, a lot of times we just plainly talk too much. Giving too much information to people who would otherwise have no place in your life gives them power and control over you.

When are you going to sit in the driver's seat and take the wheel in your life? No one or no thing should ever be the controller of your you, your present, or your future. Anyone or anything that powerful is definitely something bad in your life. If you can identify something that is in your life that seems to fit this description, remove it! These sorts of distractions can be very detrimental to having a healthy and positive outlook on life. The key here is to not tell the earth all of your business. You can talk about things, but tell the right people limited but detailed information. Be careful of who you confide in. Everyone isn't always who they claim to be...

...congratulations! you've officially hit naked Rock

Congratulations! You've officially hit naked rock. Now that you are homeless, broke, and on the streets, what do you do? Everyone familiar with your situation would have you run back to your old pitfalls, the things that have done you harm, much like a dog returning to its vomit. It's quite depressing that people would rather go back to the things that cause them great distress rather than be free and have peace of mind. Sure, not having a roof over your head isn't the most pleasurable experience in life, but you have peace. No one is going to come kick you out of your car (lol). Its paid for. The worst thing that could happen is that you get a parking ticket for sleeping too long and not moving your car on a street sweeping day!

As for being in the predicament itself, no one is responsible for taking care of you but yourself. Therefore, you can dislike what people have done to you in the past, or for things they have done to make your current position a million times worse, or thank them for the limited amount of generosity that they have afforded you. Choose to take the high road. Being angry never helps any situation anyway. Things are said that you don't always mean. Once you say something hurtful, you can't ever retract those words, no matter how many times you say your sorry and you didn't really mean it.

Rather than be angry, choose to use that energy to be productive. Let it motivate you to strive for more, even though you have nothing and no one at this time. Things will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even though your in the tunnel, its dark, wet, cold, and you can't see a thing. You have to gain control of your life. Take the wheel! You should always be in the drivers seat...

...a continual series of unfortunate Events

Sometimes it seems that you just can't catch a break and you get to the place of feeling utter despair. This is a point in life when you just can't do anything more to help your situation, when there seems to be no hope, no way of escape. You are alone, in need, and can't do anything about it.

This becomes less and less about people and more and more about survival. How am I going to eat? Where am I going to sleep? What am I going to do tomorrow? These are very tough things to think about but they are very much a part of your reality. Sometimes you just wish that you could find a suitcase full of money. Other times, you just wish that life itself would end. Truthfully, you begin to question why God would allow such horrible and terrible things to happen to you.

You try to think positively, but your all positive'd out. You call your friends, only to be told what you should be doing even though you are doing everything humanly possible to change your current situation. So whats next? Just when you think that you've skinned your butt on naked rock and convinced yourself that things can't get any worse, they do. Then what? You have done all that you could do, called on everyone that you could call on, prayed, talked to the Pastor, but nothing has changed for the better. Seems that things keep turning for the absolute worst case scenario. What now? You are alone and have nothing and no one. Congratulations! You've officially hit naked rock...

‎...in life, plans often Change

So after you have sucked it up and moved on with your life, you feel like you have been given a second wind. It seems as though you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then suddenly, yet another setback slaps you in the face. It never fails that once you get on track to succeed, someone or something is always there to kick you down. What do you do now?

Suddenly, your in such a bad state that you have to make choices like, what am I going to sell so I can eat. Oh wait, you've run out of things that you can sell and you don't have a place to live either. At this point, the bottom has dropped out and you feel utter despair regarding your situation. How did you get to this point in life? Was it a string of bad choices? Was it that you where a bad person or you are possibly reaping what you have sewn? Nope. You did everything right. Everything was to the letter.

As you look back, you could not have planned for any of the unfortunate events that have unfolded. There are savings plans, the proverbial Plan B, and even Plan C. However, in life, you will find that you can't plan for everything, especially a continual series of unfortunate events...

...suck it up and move on with your Life

At some point you have to make a decision as to what you want to do with your life, since life seems to keep kicking you in the crotch. Do you want to wallow in self-pity and hurt because some people that you thought you could trust hurt your feelings? Do you ball up into a fetal position and cry in the corner? Do you just give up all together? NO. At this point, you toughen up. Suck it up and move on with your life. The people that hurt your precious little feelings aren't thinking about you. Why are you worried about them? Why are you wallowing in self-pity and regret about what could have been? This is the time to realize that you have breath in your body, a reasonable portion of health and strength, and the will/determination to continue on. You can't let situations make you weak. Nothing that was worth having came easy. If life kicks you in the back, spits in your face and knocks you to your knees, wipe off your face and get up.

People seem to always have all the answers about your situation and what you should do with your life. You know what you should say to those people? Point blank, just shut up. They are NOT in your shoes, nor do they know whats going on in your life or what is best for your. Since when did they become God? Why is it that everyone else knows exactly what to do in your situation but can't seem to fix their own? Get out of my face! No one wants to hear your judgemental rants about foolishness. Sweep in front of your own front door.

As for sucking it up and moving on with your life, it IS as easy as it sounds, though hard to believe. Suck up you pain and despair and move on with whatever you need to do to be successful. Don't be discouraged by your current situation, it is temporary. Be positive. In life, you will find that plans often change...

...the humbling experience of being Broken

After experiencing the stinging sensation of true hurt, sometimes it is hard to come to grips with what has just happened to you. That hurt may seem at times to be the death blow, the below the belt hit, or the final nail in the coffin. It feels like you have hit naked rock. The thing that makes the death blow powerful usually isn't the circumstance that you are in, but rather a situation or circumstance that adds to it. Usually it is something that completely blindsides you, totally unexpected. It knocks the wind out of you and leaves you completely stunned.

You may be thinking, what kind of situation or circumstance could possibly deal the death blow? A lot of times, its usually the hurt or disappointment of someone you know and trust letting you down in a situation when you really needed them. We have all been there. Someone tells you that you can depend of them no matter what, through thick and thin. Then you end up in a situation when you need to actually lean on that person, and they run away from you like illegal aliens from immigration. That hurts bad. This is part of the stinging sensation of true hurt, but the beginning of the humbling experience of being broken.

This is the point in life when you realize that you can't truly depend on others or expect them to be there for you when you really need them to be. This is an agonizing hurt and a difficult thing to accept. Family, close friends, church family, will ALL disappoint you sometime in your life, sometimes all at the same time. There are some people who will stick with you through your bad times although they may not always be able to assist you. At some point, you have to make a conscious choice, throw yourself a pity party and give up, or suck it up and move on with your life...

Part 4 is coming soon. Please leave your thoughts and comments.

...the stinging sensation of true Hurt

What happens when you find yourself seemingly alone in this world? What happens when your closest friends and family turn their backs on you and walk out of your life? Do you give up on life? Do you take your anger and frustration out on the world?

It hurts when you finally realize that most of the time people will absolutely NOT back you in your time of need. Most times, it isn't financial backing that you are looking for. Sometimes a kind word, shoulder to lean on, or moral support is all you really need. It’s sad that people who call themselves your friends can't even offer that.

In life, you will find that people will not always come through for you. This is not a movie or fictional book, this is real life, your life. There is no pause button, no edit tape, no superhero to swoop down and save you just in the nick of time. You have yourself, and your own will to make it through whatever life is throwing at you. People will ultimately fail you one way or another. The thing is to not let it get to you, because it WILL happen. Sure its a hard pill to swallow when the people that you thought where closest to you suddenly make an about face out of your life, seemingly when your are going through your worse times.

Life absolutely hurts sometimes. It will kick you in the back, karate chop you in the throat, and go for the jugular. However, that is life, and life happens. The problem, most of the time, isn't the fake friends or family members that threw you under the bus when you needed them the most. That is just the tip of the iceberg. The issues are, deciphering whom or what is inflicting this woefully ill-timed hurt and seemingly insurmountable pain and, how do you deal with it? I find that its the 'dealing with' part that most people have trouble with. Sometimes there is so much coming at you at one time that it is hard to tell what the true issues really are. When thinking about that, choosing to be negative, and hate the earth because people let you down, is always a counterproductive way of handling your frustration.

Answering the previously stated question truthfully can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. It isn’t an easy thing. Most times real life situations can’t be fixed with the snap of a finger, contrary to everyone who is offering up their two cents about your life’s troubles but can’t help you, would lead you to believe. It’s not all about being positive, or keeping a smile on your face, although that helps. It’s not always about praying and waiting for God to fix it, although you should seek God first. It’s a complicated process, but you absolutely can’t begin fixing your situation until you feel the stinging sensation of true hurt……

Please leave your comments about how you feel about this. Part 3 is coming soon.

...the realization of Pain

As children, we had the luxury of being shielded from the real world, its concepts, hurt, pain and despair. We saw things innocently, believed what people told us, especially if they where older. We looked forward to the time when we could go outside and ride our bikes, roller skate, play "it" or Mr. Freeze with our closest friends (primarily the other kids that lived on your block or went to school with.)

Then we got older, and we all were trying to find ourselves in middle and high schools. At some point, we lost some people that we (thought) were our good friends. We really didn't for the most part understand what a friend really was yet. Then there was college, or for most people, the actual real world after school. People suddenly realized that there was a real big unloving, non-caring, ruthless world out there waiting to pounce on them. Some of us moved away, and built new relationships, and some of us clung to what was familiar. It was in that time that I believe most of us found our true friends in life.

At this point, there is more to life than the fresh new Jordan's, or dating the most popular girl/guy in school. This is the place in life where you actually grow up. This is when you suddenly realize that you have bills to pay, responsibilities that need to be met, and issues that sometimes transcend your existence. Sometimes though, when life is busy slapping you in the back, face, and throat, you need one of those people that you call a friend. It could be in the way of moral, emotional, or financial support. Any way support is rendered, it is expected that a friend be there in your time of need.

But what happens when the expected doesn't happen or when a friend disappoints you in some way? What happens when that person or group of people isn't there or is insensitive to your feelings? What do you do when those friends that you are so cool with all of a sudden make an about face and exit stage left?

This is the part where I would like some honest responses from all of you. We have all gone through some disappointing situations with people we know and love. How did you deal with it?

Part 2 of "...the realization of Pain" will be coming soon, after your feedback.